You Say Potato, I Say Productive

So, in a little bit you'll probably be wondering how you came to this beautiful, simple, streamlined, *poetic even* front page, and then you got here to this journal and you're like, what the eff happened?

But in the meantime, let me just say that this used to be a lot easier. When I was in college, I had so much to say, and it was so interesting and I spent entirely too much time in this cloud of post-pubescent angst and feelings that I thought I was the most relevant thing on the planet. Aren't we all like that a little bit though? I'm not really like that anymore, and yet I still have this vital need to string words together and try to connect with people. So here I am.

One thing you should probably know about me is that I have the most horrible memory in the world. Really. Like I would think that I have Alzheimer's or some other memory-affecting brain disorder, except that my brain has been like this my whole life and surely they would have caught that as a child? Right? So I go about my business in this present state of clearness, and everything behind me is a fog of perception. What this means is that sometimes I totally forget things that happened, and other things are completely remembered not the way they actually happened, and other things that I swear happened didn't really happen at all, ever.

The main repercussion of this is that my friends will start off by going, "Remember when so and so did this and it was so funny...?!!" And I have to be like, "Oh my god! That was hilarious!" and then really hope that I don't have to give any details whatsoever about what happened, because I have absolutely no idea what they're talking about. This is really similar to when you're at a loud concert and someone is trying to talk to you, and you just nod and say unintelligible things and hope they're hearing that you're awesome and really cool and want to be your friend because you say all the right things at all the right times, when what I'm really saying is "oh, uh-huh. yeah they're the best, and this song about the thing.... oh. yep, yeah I totally know all the words to this one.... *sings incoherently about toothpaste*" And I also learned a long time ago that I should never bring up old memories because 9 times out of 10, I describe something that totally did not happen with the people I'm telling the story to.

Another repercussion is that I've done some really awesome things in my life, but instead of remembering that I did these awesome things and feeling Pretty Damn Awesome about myself all the time, I basically just feel like I'm doing slightly better than a potato that's started growing a whole new potato plant because you left it on the counter too long. Actually, maybe I'm not doing better than a potato. I did grow a whole human out of myself once. It keeps growing too, so that's pretty cool.

The moral of the story is that I'm going to end up describing things here, and they may or may not be completely historically accurate. I promise they will be totally biased to how I see things and it may even be just dreams I had that I think are real memories. Just FYI.

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